Guys, there is your chance to solve unsolvable enigma called women. I am already using this “user manual” for my wife. ;)
1. Contempt:
lifted brows, upper lip lifted. How to cause this: it’s enough just to wipe the sweat off your head with a tip of your tie.
2. Controlled anger:
tightly shut lips, flared nostrils, eyes squinting slightly. How to cause this: find a photo album with your ex-wife photos and put it in a prominent place.
3. Fear:
eyes open wide, eyebrows slightly raised comers of the mouth are pointing downward. How to cause this: pick up the phone and say: “Hey Wolfgang! I heard you and your brothers have no place to live? Well, come live with us!”
4. Sarcastic Smile:
mouth half-open, eyes slightly squinting. How to cause this: going out with your buddies, promise to be home at 9 pm.
5. Obligatory Smile:
mouth corners are pointing in different directions, in a lopsided smile. How to cause this: invite your boss to visit your house.
6. Derision:
lips shut, eyes squinting. How to cause this: refuse to pay extra $100 for a hotel room with a better view.
7. Asking nicely:
lifted eyebrows, trembling chin. How to cause this: promise something, then change your mind.
8. Pleading:
wrinkled forehead, lips slightly open, eyes wet. How to cause this: Again promise her something, (see previous), and then change your mind again.
9. Baffled Anger:
one eye squinted, jaw put forward. How to cause this: when you team wins, go to bed dressed in it’s colors.
10. Confusion:
eyes open wide, mouth slightly open. How to cause this: get a tattoo with a different girl’s name.
11. Deep Hatred:
all face muscles are frozen as in a mask. How to cause this: Say that her new dress is good, but your secretary’s dress is better.
12. Humble Submission:
mouth is closed, one eyebrow slightly raised. How to cause this: as yet unknown.
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